"I've been to the mountaintop..."

So here's one of those posts that's in the "ugly" category...but this is the real stuff, ya know!?! "I've been to the mountaintop. I've seen the glory of my God" as the song goes. BUT I am here... in the valley with my children. And to put it plainly, it just hurts, enough to bring tears (finally had to let it out) And not because "Woe is me, parenting is hard."But because I've had glimpses of the "mountaintop" & it is glorious. I actually like my children. I see that my God has amazing things in store for them. We actually have fun together & I see parts of myself and their father in them (which is scary & hilarious at the same time. So why do I have this ache in my very being? I see a strong foundation, but that's it. I see time running out on our sphere of influence...especially with my oldest. Why is it that so many things in my life are "running smooth" or "in order" except what should be my greatest accomplishment...my kids? Don't know if I really want an answer...I know that "His promises are Yes & Amen". I know that "His grace is sufficient for me". I know that "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me". I know that He is with me THROUGH the valley. I know that "He sees every tear that falls". I know I want to walk in the Spirit & "lift with my legs" for the rest of the time I have with them...I just want them to love the mountaintop as much as I do!