Children & How They Came To Be

We always knew we wanted children. We began praying about the timing of when to begin this adventure. It's funny. I often hear (or overhear) discussions about being "ready" for children. I can't help but smile and think, "Are you ever really ready?" You could have all your ducks in a row from a material stand point, but there is no preparing one's heart & soul for the roller coaster of human emotions to come. It does give you a sense of appreciation for those who have dared to go before-your own parents. Deep thoughts aside, we came to the conclusion, we were in the wrong tax bracket to travel the world, so... let's have kids. I was blessed with three wonderfully, uncomplicated pregnancies, worked up until the days I gave birth, and recovered more or less by the book. However, my deliveries were all quite different, just like the personalities of my three, now that I think about it...

• Child #1-Our steadfast, loyal, passionate Braden, who carries the weight of the world (classic first born) came into this world via a C-section. After 22 hours of option A (letting body naturally progress ) and B (pushing with drugs) not working, we had no choice-surgery-my FIRST ever! It's funny, we often refer to Braden as our "Option C" child (because of his own idea of how things are to be... we present him with A & B, then he picks C) and amazingly his entrance to the world parallels that. Everyone called him the "Little Man". He always looked grown-up. The irony is, in the here & now, he is beginning to become a little man. Really... already? I'm not ready:)
• Child #2-Our sweet surprise of a son, Ethan, who is ever keeping the peace (while trying to be the law), keeping up with his brother, and attempting perfection (doesn't like to make mistakes), came by VBAC with only 3 pushes. In retrospect, it seems fitting that he would attempt a textbook delivery. I can picture his little baby face with dimpled smile saying (in his present voice though), "Don't worry, I already knew how to do it." And he usually does. I have to remind him that I enjoy helping... Mr. Independent.
• Child #3-Our beautiful & fearless Olivia, who has a set agenda for each day, loves her "boys" more than life, and has one volume, came all by herself via VBAC. Yep, after pushing once, the doctor told me not to push, sat back and said "she's coming out on her own". One of her first phrases was " I do myself". Who knew? I can't imagine life with out her. We joked that she was "the softer side of the Neumanns"-human equivalent of a Sears commercial. In reality, she was. Our edges were softened and our family complete.

House, Home, Heaven

I believe it was Mrs. Collins who says, "Oh Lizzy, it's such a pleasure to run one's own home." I don't think I fully appreciated that statement until just a few years ago. When we started out, like most couples, there was the apartment. We had registered, received gifts and had an idea of how we wanted our place to look. Then wake up to realize you can't afford your own taste and begin the art of "making things work". It's funny how in the beginning, the focus is on how things look. After being in our current home for almost 8 years, the focus is now how things work. I remember purchasing a cutlery tray for a drawer, only to realize once we moved in, that we didn't have a single full size kitchen drawer to put it in. Our next move in the progression of real estate was to a Condo (needed room in order to consider having children). I now covet that second bath that we rarely used. So... second round of setting up house, had definite colors in mind, new what improvements would be down the line, and thoroughly enjoyed DIY projects. So many memories in that place... began to understand the meaning of "home", sweet fellowship with friends, and the births of Braden, then Ethan 18 months later (oh... the stories of carrying a sleeping toddler, baby in a carrier, diaper bag & groceries from garage in back of units to our unit upstairs in the front). Those were the "Super Mom" years. Believe me, I don't give myself that title. It's just that I look back and think how? But God... He is faithful to give what is needed for the moment... my moments often required strength... then rest:) Speaking of a toddler, he liked balls. More specifically, throwing balls off our balcony. When we saw he began to attempt to retrieve said ball, we knew we had outgrown our space. Third move required a yard, so we found a little place with big outdoor space. It was during those crazy real estate years. I would be sent to look at homes (only drive-by mind you), and by the time I called to say we wanted to see inside of this and that... they would be sold! It got to the point that I'd drive up, call Dan, say "well... it looks like it might be ok... let's make an offer"-without going inside. Both Dan & I have a pair of "rose-colored glasses". We had so much fun, and still do, making this house our home. A friend pointed out how she loved my tent trailer-everything had a purpose & a place. Then it hit me, I had embraced IT'S smallness and made it work, but not my house. From then on, I asked the Lord to show me how to embrace our small space. It's amazing how He helps me make the most of every square inch. Our space now also houses our daughter, Olivia and our dog, Clover. Even though there are times it feels like our house is bursting at the seams, it is what grounds us and gives us an eternal perspective. John 14 : 1-3

Coffee, Chocolate and Other Cravings

Coffee... legal addictive stimulant or just yummy comfort? Going with the latter. There's just something about starting your day with your personalized "Cup o' Joe"-Starbucks, apparently was on to something. This morning ritual of mine, didn't really start until my kids were in school. Coffee used to just be a treat or something to warm me up on an evening out. Then that moment came when I needed that warm mug between my hands and to have that first sip of "okay here we go". I have no issues with the paper cup (and I know my choice is a bit risky), but my favorite place to enjoy my moment in a mug is in the car, on the way to school. "Serenity now..." Then the fighting over who sits where and who saw which "slug bug" begins. But I have my coffee-Praise the Lord-so it's all good! This all came to mind because of two events. First, my boys made my instant "liquid gold" the other day for me... Surreal blessing! Second, we were OUT of coffee today... makes my head hurt. My universe wasn't altered, so I know I am not dependent on the stuff, but it got me thinking... about other cravings. For some reason what came to mind was my response when people used to ask me about my kids "Binkies" (especially Braden because he always looked older than he was-Olivia too now that I think about it) You know, the question that makes you feel like a bad mother because you allow your child who's walking to suck on a piece of rubber. I used to say while shrugging, "Well, don't we all have our comfort items. I mean really, I have chocolate. So he or she has a "Binky". I'm okay with that. If they still have it when they start school... we'll talk." Laughter was the typical response along with a nod indicating "point taken". I do love to bring humor into what could be sticky situations. Maybe that's why I love my coffee ritual. It brings a smile to my face and sweet comfort to my soul in the midst of what I commonly refer to as "Groundhog Day Mornings"! The Lord says everything in moderation... I think daily coffee qualifies... it's my grown-up, invisible "Binky"!

The Proposal

My husband doesn't like things to go wrong. Especially things he carefully planned, but really, who does? As painful as it is, I have to admit that our day lacked the "fairy tale scenario" that so many others experience. Ironically though, all unbeknownst to me. That's the beauty of this story. It all started with Dan arranging for me to have the day off (so there were those who knew of the proposed events of the day-cheerleaders) to celebrate the anniversary of our first date. So on November 13th, after practice, the girls I coached began saying things like, "You're going to have fun today... giggle, giggle!" The thought occurred to me, but no, I told myself. Dan was waiting outside and then off we went for a day of surprise. He had the whole day planned :) Funny thing is I'm a planner too, and to not be in the know... kills me... just a side note. We went over to Catalina, ate lunch at this fun little place (name already escapes me) where you throw peanut shells on the floor and tape dollar bills you've written on up on the walls, went on a glass bottom boat (I vaguely remember a nap) and walked around town. It was a joy to just hang together. Mind you, while this day was occurring, Dan kept getting paged (Does anyone actually have a pager anymore? You're officially old when you have to explain your former "techno-savvy" ways to your kids) He was paged in L.B. before we left, in the restaurant and at the docks before we boarded to come home. "Huh... work must be rough today," I thought. So we were going to end the day recreating our first date... dinner and a movie. Our spot, don't laugh... we were twenty, was the Olive Garden-breadsticks & alfredo-YUM! That also was the place I discovered he wasn't a fan of salad dressing either. What were the odds? God is always in the details. While eating, he has to answer a page and leaves to use the pay phone. So... I finish my meal and still no return from Dan. I'm waiting, feeling a little silly alone with my plate, and then he comes back. I could tell he's flustered, but trying to just carry on. We have dessert and leave. He then nixed the movie and was brainstorming where we could go instead. By now we were back in his truck in the parking lot at Main Place and I say,"Anywhere but the beach, I don't want to get chilled." Well, that was it. That was the last romantic place he could think of to salvage the day. He grew more irritated with how the day had gone and I kept trying to convince him that it was wonderful (thinking that the "fun" my girls had hinted of was just that, fun, not a marriage proposal and would come later-it had only been a year). After a few more minutes of trying to get him to see the light, I say, "What more could you have possibly wanted? Today was perfect." He reached into his pocket, pulls out a little black box and says, "I was going to ask you to marry me?" I gulp, "You still can!?!" So he says, "Get out of the car, we can't be in the car." So on one knee, he proposes just beautifully. I accept. We kiss and he tells me, while still embraced, that when the real ring is ready, he'll ask again. REAL RING? Yah, this was a stand in ring that the jeweler had taken to Gary, to bring to Dan in the mall (the dinner pages) because the maker of my ring didn't finish it in time. He was supposed to meet him at the dock in L.B. with my ring (the other pages) so Dan could propose on Catalina Island. Then we'd return full of bliss and celebrate our engagement by recreating our first date. I love all the details that Dan wanted for that day. I love that the Lord allowed everything to go awry. Because I love OUR story... I'd say we got the "fairy tale" ending!

How I Met Your Father

So I'm at the Staff retreat in '94 and so excited to be a part of Calvary Schools. For some reason, my MCA experiences are etched into my memory like no other and since leaving (my family had felt led to move-to a little place we affectionately call Mo Val-to be near family, have grandparents move in with us-whole other story-and because "they" said there would never be a high school) I had always desired to return. This new chapter in my life was, to say the least, refreshing, especially after "our time in the desert"-literally! In retrospect, I KNOW that the Lord's hand was in ALL of it. Sometimes, when I hear people question why were we here or there or why did God allow these years (and I mean the hour long discussion that goes nowhere, not our natural, finite mind expressing doubt) I just find myself thinking, "Yada, yada, yada, BUT GOD! Look at how it shaped us. Look at the people met and friendships formed. Romans 8:28" I'm so glad I was raised to "gird up my loins". Sometimes, you just have to, you know? And if we had stayed, I probably would have never dated a guy with my same last name and vice versa. As I was updating the other Neumanns on my family, Gary asks, "Soooo how old are you?...I have a son!" I wanted to run for the hills. I kept avoiding him and entered every meeting from the opposite door. Back down the hill at a staff luncheon, I'm eating (with all my mother's friends, had no social circle of my own yet-mind you I love those ladies) and what comes over my head, but a prom picture with a napkin covering his date. So all the ladies oohh and aahh over this wonderful (and handsome, I might add) Danny. I smiled, red faced and mumbled something like "Hmm... thank you... that's nice." I mean really... very awkward. So after 2 months of "Psst. He's here", I finally agreed to meet him and get it over with (knowing full well after hearing how shy he was and that he didn't like set-ups, so his own dad said-IRONIC-that this would be rough on him too). So off I go out to the lunch area where he was eating. He used to come by the kitchen (where his mom works) to grab lunch in between the beach and OCC. Gary taps him on the shoulder (mid bite mind you) and introduces us. So he stands and politely we engage in conversation. Really we were grasping at straws at what to talk about. So can you guess the topic? MCA and all its glories:) Makes me laugh to this day. Meanwhile, what made this more awkward, was that Gary, in his usual way, walks away after the introduction. Doesn't stay for that third party buffer. Instead goes and sits at the picnic table, legs stretched out, arms crossed, and tipping his head quite pleased with himself. He calls himself "Tevia", from Fiddler on the Roof and after a while into us dating would walk by humming the Matchmaker song. If you know Gary, this is all very easily pictured. But the kicker in this story is that it all occurred during JR HIGH LUNCH with Gary surrounded by gawking, giggling adolescents:) This maybe ten minute saga, that felt like forever, ended with me needing to get on the bus and the nice statement of "See you at church". And so we did! I love that we began with fellowship... which led to dating... which began our life in the bubble:)

Remembering Things

So I've been thinking...I think I've been blogging my whole life, just in my head. I have a pretty good memory, or so my friends have told me. I can recall people, stories, conversations, and random facts from days gone by. The Lord gifted me that way I suppose. BUT, I think my "back-up" files are beginning to fail me. You know how people are always saying, "Write it down before you forget." I'd just smile and think well, I have my brain. But here we are. The point where I'm am beginning to forget the cute sayings of my kids, the details of what I thought were pretty life altering moments (i.e. proposal, child birth, etc...) and what is it that I like do when given the opportunity. Do you ever find yourself on pause when given a little free time... alone? Well, I do. I stand there as if I don't remember how to function and then say to myself, "Really? It's come to this?" I heard once that you lose a section of your brain with every child... a joke of course... but, it feels true! So before diving into our life in the here and now, I'm going to do a little backstory. I love this new outlet... takes some pressure off my brain!

The Inspiration

Well, one can only put off technology for so long. I had been a long time hold out on the "virtual" life, until a few days ago. I joined FB...I figured since being a working mom and unsuccessful OC socialite, a virtual social life was better than nothing. As I was finding my way through the walls and posts, I realized this wasn't really me. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to make a go at it. It's just that I've always preferred a long conversation as opposed to random chit chat (I'm not good at that anyway) My whole life I have had definitive ideas. Some expressed in the real world. Others just looped over and over in my head. It has been a running joke with my husband. "I have thoughts!" You know the Nora Ephron quote from Julie & Julia, only without the knife. I usually refer to that right before or after a pity party about being a 35 year old women who can't complete a sentence in her own home! So he jokes back about blogging. Then I received an email from a dear friend who had finally done it. Blogged, in order to capture the sweet life of her son. Now that hit me like a lightbulb (after of course, a few minutes of jealousy over the fact that blogging doesn't require real life cropping & pasting or your entire dining room table like scrapbooking-which I never could fully embrace) I could chronicle our lives while injecting a few of my thoughts. So here goes...